Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – October 27th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Mastiffs and Lightbulbs

Check out these cracking Funnies from Debbie and Sally.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads:D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for a joke or two from Sally.

Complaints

A man joins a Trappist order and is told that he is allowed to say just two words every five years. After five years he speaks his two words to his superiors. ‘Bed hard’.

He is promised…

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Now we know why they wanted all that toilet paper!

If any of you were planning a trip to England’s Lake District on the next bank holiday, I’d think again if I were you. And the end of the article about caravans and motor homes was just mind-blowing if you drive the UK roads. Boy, am I glad I live in Spain. 😀

Jim Webster

0_Inconsiderate-parking-at-the-Lake-DistrictJPG

The Lake District National Park Authority held a Visitor Poll on the 30th and 31st of May. They asked interesting questions.

Before your visit which of the following things did you do?
Use the LDNPA website to check how busy areas were.  35.5%

Plan your destination AND end up at that destination.  38.7%

Plan your destination AND change your plan enroute. 55.1%

Use social media to research your visit.    43.4%

Bring a picnic and refreshments.    42.2%

Bring a BBQ.    25.8%

Bring alcohol.    70.3%

Then they asked them; before your visit, which of the following things were you aware of.

Not all car parks are open.      58.2%

Not all toilets are open.     70.3%

Most shops are closed.  74.6%

Most food businesses are closed.  39.5%

Local people are worried about visitors not respecting social distancing.  86.7%

You should take your litter home.  34.4%

You should follow the Country Code.  12.5%

You should…

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Smorgasbord Cafe and Bookstore – New Book on the Shelves – #Memoir- Into Africa: With 3 Kids, 13 Crates and a Husband (Book 1) by Ann Patras

A BIG THANK YOU to Sally Cronin for this. 🙂

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Delighted to welcome a new author to the Cafe and Bookstore, Ann Patras with her memoirs of life in Africa. I am going to feature the first book in the series, Into Africa: With 3 Kids, 13 Crates and a Husband,  to introduce Ann and her story, and there are two follow up books, with the most recent published on January 11th 2020.

About the book

When Ann and Ziggy Patras uproot from England in 1980 and head off with their three young children to live and work in deepest Africa, they have no idea what they are letting themselves in for.

While prepared for sunshine and storms 13º south of the equator, the Patras family are ill-equipped for much else.

Interspersed with snippets from Ann’s letters home, this crazy story describes encounters ranging from lizards to lions, servants to shopping shortages, and cockroaches to curfews.

One of the…

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HAPPY DECEMBER or HERE’S TO THE END OF 2019

Life’s been a little hectic around here of late. We can dis-count my nip into A&E after a suspected (but thankfully, not) minor heart attack; and even leave out Ziggy’s minor stroke and subsequent week’s stay in hospital, because they are so old hat, and we're fine now, thank you. We can also by-pass my … Continue reading HAPPY DECEMBER or HERE’S TO THE END OF 2019

WOOPS!

Well I see we're getting a bit of attention here. SORRY folks, but we've been messing around with this website, or to be more specific, Leon has been attempting to do a wonderful revamp for me, to make it look smarter and for things to be easier, and more logically found. Alas, after a tough … Continue reading WOOPS!