I’ve been having trouble with my printer. The paper feed sometimes doesn’t want to eat, so you have to give the paper a little nudge, to help it on its way. But you need to be careful not to nudge it too hard otherwise it gulps the paper and gets choked. Then you have to turn the printer on its side (!!) and expose its arse-end to pull out the stuck sheet. This can be quite an irritating.
The printer also has the very frustrating quality to only save scanned documents as pdf’s (not jpg, as I would prefer). I decided that once the ink ran out on the Canon I would replace the machine.
As I am now older than I was last week and like to think that I have become a little wiser with age, and so as a newly wise person I researched printers (WHICH? magazine) to establish which make/model would meet my requirements and be within my price range. The one I set my heart on was a lot more expensive in Spain for some reason, so even with additional postage, it was cheaper for me to buy it from Amazon UK. As a bonus, I noticed that they had one cheaper because it was damaged, but said to be in very good condition. So I got 20% off. The damage turned out to be a crack in the polystyrene block which held the printer safely in the box. The printer itself was in perfect nick.
Of course, the instant I had the new printer sitting by my desk, Mr Canon stopped playing up. But eventually the black ink ran out so I had to set up my new printer. The new one, Mr HP, came with an offer on ink supplies, a bit complicated to bother explaining here, but suffice it to say that it sounded worth a try. The only trouble was, when I tried to register Mr HP in the scheme he insisted that Alhaurin el Grande was in the United Kingdom (because of his origins). Of course, it is not, but pre-set forms do not like to be told they are wrong, so my ink registration needed some help. Of course this happened on a Friday, didn’t it, and by the time I had reached this point the helplines were closed until Monday. And if I commenced use of the printer before registration I would disqualify myself from 300 free printed pages, an offer not to be sneezed at, even in winter.
So I sat with two perfectly operational, but not, printers. Their paper outlets seemed to sneer at me every time I walked past them. I swore a lot.
On Monday I established that I could ‘chat’ with an HP helpline person on Whatsapp to try and resolve the problem of my and/or the printer’s address. The messaging commenced at 11:54 and ended at 15:39. Yes, I am sure – over three and a half hours – I have my phone sitting here beside me bearing those times. No breaks for coffee, or lunch.
I’m sure poor Jose must have been starving by the time we finished. But we succeeded in the end. Admitted there were quite a few delays between questions being asked and answered, which might have been due to him having to translate everything from/to/from English/Spanish. I was so relieved we were type-chatting instead of trying to verbally talk to each other, as my Spanish vocabulary is limited to about 58 words, very few of which would have been any use in this issue.
The reason for my need to print was because I wanted to produce some Sample booklets of my three books. I had made half a dozen previously and left them at in my dentist’s waiting room. I know that this exposure actually generated some sales, as I was telling my friends at my official book launch. My pal Joe then said he was going to be visiting his dentist and asked if I had copies he could leave there. As it happened I had already made a few more, and handed these to Joe.
He later phoned me to say these had been very well received and suggested that I make loads more and do a tour of the multitude of medical specialists in Marbella who frequently had people sitting nervously bored in their waiting rooms. I had made some refinements to my booklet over the printerless weekend, and was now raring to print them off.
While I’d been searching for some chocolate on the weekend I had found a brand new Canon black ink cartridge in a drawer instead. Way to go! But I knew Mr C was also getting low on colour ink, so I hatched a cunning plan to print the 4 black-only pages on the Canon and the 3 containing colour on the HP. So later on Monday afternoon I sat at my laptop with not one, but two printers prattling away behind me.
It wasn’t long before I realised the HP had gone quiet and was impressed that it had completed its job so quickly. It hadn’t – it had run out of paper. But thank dog it did, because as I went to add more I collected the printing already completed, and found the last six pages had large chunks of print faded or missing. The black ink was finished. I had forgotten just how little ink comes with new printers.
But no sweat, I’ll just finish the current batch off on the Canon. Ha ha haaa. A dozen pages down the line the colour ink ran out on that, and I discovered many years ago, if one ink cartridge runs out then the other goes on strike.
You know what? Bugger printers!