I’ve always thought I was pretty good with colours. I mean, I know the difference between lilac and purple, red and maroon, green and blue obviously, as well as black and brown. And I definitely know the difference between grey and blonde. I just needed to make this perfectly clear before I continue.
I was born with blonde hair, but it turned brown somewhere between the age of 2 and 5 (there are photos missing from the album of the actual transition). I then stayed with dark brown hair for many years, decades in fact, until the latter years when my hair began to fade. The trouble was, it wasn’t fading very evenly, so I decided to let my hairdresser send it a fairly subtle shade of blonde instead.
But at the beginning of this year I got fed up with this dyeing lark and decided that it was time I admitted defeat and let nature take its course.
That was a couple of cuts ago, so I am now GREY all over. This is the real me. A happy grey person.
I am telling you all this because certain of you may want to dispute the issue of whether I’m a grey or blonde after I tell you about my latest little experience.
I am not one to lash out on fancy creams and lotions for my skin. I might spend a couple of euro on a pot of face cream from Lidl, but as far as the rest of me is concerned, I have always found Johnson’s Baby Lotion quite adequate. I mean, if it’s good enough for a new-born baby it’s got to be good enough for an old fart.
After a couple of years living in Spain I finished my SA-bought Johnson’s bottleful so have since purchased an equivalent at our local supermarket, which has its own store-brand called Hacendado. I have always found products bearing the Hacendado label to be of excellent quality.
When I bought the latest bottle I noticed that it looked different as I grabbed it off the shelf but assumed they’d got a new label design. On getting it home I put it away in the cupboard while I finished off the dregs in the bottom of the previous bottle (which I’d cut the top off to reach – ever thrifty, me!).
So it was some time before I had occasion to make use of the new bottle for the first time.
I was a little surprised when the squirt of liquid from the pump came out clear instead of white, but figured it must have ‘settled’ while it had been standing in the cupboard, and the liquid had separated into two components. I gave the bottle a shake and took another squirt but that too came out transparent.
No issue, I thought, maybe they changed the composition of the substance, and proceeded to rub the moisturising lotion onto my shin. At that point it turned white. Ah, that’s novel, I also thought, and continued to rub it onto my leg, doing the other shin also. Quite soon it absorbed into my skin.
This morning I made the momentous decision to cut my toenails. I only mention this because during the clipping process my arms came into contact with my shins. Please do not try to visualise this, it was not a pretty sight!
Anyway, I thought my shin skin felt different to usual, obviously the new baby lotion.
Later in the morning I once again applied some lotion to my legs, and again it came out clear and turned white after I rubbed it in. I noticed that my skin felt different again and to be honest I wasn’t sure that I liked the feel. It almost felt sticky.
About an hour ago I decided to rub some onto my arms, but I checked out the contents of the bottle first. I gave it a good shake then unscrewed the top and withdrew the pumping device, which revealed that the liquid was in fact transparent all the way to the bottom of the container.
I screwed the pump back in place and then, and only then, looked at the writing on the bottle. It said “Gel a Champu Pieles”. It was Baby Soap/Shampoo!
No wonder my bloody skin felt sticky – even if it was ‘the most gentle of solutions for young and sensitive skin’ it shouldn’t have been plastered on and left there!
I have now purchased the correct Locion Corporal Hidratante which feels much better, thank you very much, and will soon have skin as soft as a baby’s bum.
Anyone want some baby shampoo?